The original, 2-page short story version of

THE EGG WITH THE ENORMOUSE SIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Copyright © 1975 by Roger M. Wilcox. All rights reserved.
(writing on this story officially began 1-Feb-1975, but really began some days earlier)
The original draft was written on a mechanical typewriter, single-spaced, with no right margin, before I'd learned about those pesky little things called "paragraphs." It was inspired by Oliver Butterworth's 1956 children's novel The Enormous Egg, which we were reading in 4th grade (yes, fourth grade). All spellings, punctuation, strings of exclamation points, capitalizations, colors, etc. are as in the original. Unfortunately, without scanning it in and presenting an image, I can't really convey all the typewriter overstrikes and formatting oddities I had to slog through in the original.

You have been warned.

CHAPTER 1: THE FAT HEN......................................

ME, JOHNNY, worked on a farm. One day our hen got fat (but much fatter than when it was going to lay an avarage chicken egg)! But I still hadn't had the heart to lift her off the nest. Then one day she layed "the egg with the enormouse size"! And she could barely cover it! I had to turn it over 3 times a day! Well, as you already know, the egg didn't hatch in 1 week (the avarage time is 3 weeks). And, as you know by now, the egg didn't hatch in 2 weeks. But, in 3 weeks, it still didn't hatch! My father didn't like the idea of my getting up in the middle of the night, to turn over the egg. As time pased, the hen still didn't give up. Even in 4 weeks, the egg didn't hatch, but the hen still didn't give up! Well, I was out fishing, and this man started eating lunch (but at 11:00 am). And I said, "oh., I have to turn over my egg". The guy was a paleontologest and he said "what?" "Oh yea., I read about you in the paper just today". (His name was dr. Waterfield & he said that (what he just said)). "Well", he said, "why dont you call me whenever the egg hatches, no matter wat time of day or night, just call me whenever it hatches". "Well" I said, when I got back, "maybe it's a 5 week egg, but I'm willing to wait 6 weeks, if the egg hatches then". Well, 5 weeks past, but the egg still didn't hatch. "Well", said my father, "we cant eat it now. It's too old & rotten." "Well", I said, "I'm willing to wait 1 more week, but thats all." Well, during the week, the egg did hach! And I went through the house yelling, "it hatched! It hatched! It hatched!"! Well, then I called Dr. Waterfield. Dr. Waterfield came almost instantly to see what had come out of the egg. And, sure enough, it was a teradactal....................................

CHAPTER 2: THE ONLY DINOSAUR ALIVE.............................................

"Well", my father said, "lets all go in & have some breakfast". Well, nobody knew it, but while they were eating breakfast, Dr. Waterfield called Dr. smith. "Well", I Said, "What will we name him"? "Well", I said again, "there is a picture on the wall that is a picture of our great uncle, sterly, so we can hand that down to uncle sterly, and weve got it made"! Just then, Dr. smith came in. "O.K."!, he said, "where's the dnosar, or teradactal"?! "Well"?! he said again, "come on in", Dr. waterfield said. "Well show him to you." Well, when we got there, uncle sterly was gone! We looked all over the yard, but we just dint find uncle sterly. So we decided he was in the neighbors yard. Well,, we sure found him alright, in the alfalfa patch, eating it. Well, when we got him back, Dr. smiths face turned pale, & his mouth droped open it's full lenth! He could barely speak, and these words barely came out, & all he could say was this, "y-your right, i-it is a-a real live teradactal". "Well", I said, "lets all go in & have some breakfast, now" (for it was now 8:30). But just then Dr. waterfield said, "why dont we weigh the teradactal"? Well, then we took him over to the kitchen scale & he weighed exactly 4 lbs.,. Well, then we took the same amount of alfalfa he ate (from the amount of alfalfa tooken away from the headge) and weighed it in the form of grass, & it weighed exactly 1 lb.,. So we guessed that, from the amount he ate, that he gained 1 lb. (in 1½ hours). Well, then Dr. smith tried to buy the dinosaur. First he said, "Ill buy that dinosaur from you my boy, for $50. huh, what do you say?" "No," I said, "I just want to keep him." Then Dr. smith said, "$100? Well?" "NO" I said, "$150", he said, "no" I said, "$200" he said, "no", I said, "$250", he said, "no", I said, "$300? that's an awful lot of money.?", he said "no, I just want to keep him", I said, then he said to my father, "what's the matter with that child of yours"?! "Well", my father said, "I guess he just want's to keep him". Well, the next day, we let him out to eat some grass. Well, after he ate, we weighed him. And he weighed 7 lbs. So in only 24 hours, he more than doubled his weight. Well, then Dr. smith went home. Well, in 3 days, uncle sterly learned to fly (with some diffaculty). So we put him in a large box (for he weighed 25 lbs. (and he got too big for the kitchen scale, so we took 2 bathroom scales & put a plank across it & subtracted the weight of the plank (1 lb.) and, we have our answer) and put a screen fence across the top & we have his new home. Well, in 1 week, he became 72 lbs.,. Well, in 12 days, uncle sterly weighed 121 lbs.,. Then Dr. waterfield said, "I know that an alligator can get 6' long in 5 years, but that teradactal of yours gets 6' long in 2 weeks". Well, in 2 weeks (14 days) uncle sterly was 6' long & 144 lbs.,.

CHAPTER 3: UNCLE STERLY.........................................................

Well, in 3 weeks, he weighed 216 pounds. Well, he got too big for the 2 bathroom scales & plank, so we took him down to the market (with some difuculty) & weighed him on their scales. Also, he was able to gnaw away at the screen fence, so we put an avarage size fence over the top of the wooden box, and made a larger box (& put the fence over it). Well, in 4 weeks, he weighed 288 lbs. (1 month). Well, in 1½ months (1 month, 2 weeks) uncle sterly weighed 432 lbs., & was 13' long! "Well", said my father, "your gonna be goin' back to school pretty soon". Well, in 2 months, he weighed 576 lbs., & was 16' long! "Well", said Dr. waterfield, "your gonna have to put uncle sterly in a pterry warm place during the winter, after all, they are warm-blooded. That means there blood temprature goes with the surroundings." Well, it was september, and thats when he said that (the 14th). "Oh dam", I said, "I'll have to give uncle sterly to some ol' zoo." "Well", said Dr. waterfield, "Were gonna take him to the zoo alright - but you, Johnny, could come along too." "Oh boy"! I said, "you mean I can really come along too, oh boy"! Well, Well, it wasn't 'till 6:00 a.m. when we heard 2 men say, "o.k. men, back 'er up", & I looked outside, & there was this big truck (it was pretty foggy outside). Well, he was (in 2½ months) 720 lbs,. & 20' long, so we were afraid the truck wouldn't hold him. Well, when we loaded him on the truck, the springs saged (we got him on by putting some alfalfa & looring him onto the truck). Well, then when a car tried to pass us, thats when he made the big mustake, he blew his horn. And then uncle sterly was butting against the side of the truck, & before we knew it, uncle sterly was out of the truck! And uncle sterly was flying down the road. Miles away, we unloaded the truck, and to our surprize, uncle sterly was gone, & the wall panel was, too! Then we saw uncle sterly up in the air. Well, he was picked up by a radar screen & told to Identify (whitch, of course, he didn't do). Then the committee was just about to shoot, when I came & said, "dont shoot"! Just in time. And they said, "why"?! And we said, "because he's ours."! And they gave him back. Well, we put him in the zoo. And he was kept under safe cover for the rest fo his life!

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A 'WILCOX' PRESENTATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's notes from 2013:

Send comments regarding this Web page to: Roger M. Wilcox.
Click here to go back to my main old stories page