CHAPTER 1: I SLIPPED......................................................
One day I was working on a large clock, so I could tell more acurate time than the clock in my house, when a bundle of wires, transistors, capacitors, & 1k resistors fell into my big clock. Then I thought, "well, I'll test the clock anyway". Well, I was testing it wile eating a hotdog, and when I turned the clock on, something very strange happened. My hotdog got heavier. I turned to look at my hotdog, &, it was growing larger, 1 inch per second. I was amazed! Never in my whole life did I see anything any bit like it! Then I turned the clock dial to 'fast' & the hotdog started to shrink, 1 inch per second. Then I unpluged the large clock, & the hotdog stayed the same size. "Well", I thought, "the hotdog was toward the center of the face of the clock, so that must be where the ray comes out". 6 seconds later I got 7 kids all around my garage. Then I gave them a demonstration with my hotdog. They were amazed! Then they went home....................................
CHAPTER 2: THE NEWSPAPER REPORT./.l....................................,..
One day I was walking around, shrinking all the bullys, when a newspaper reporter took my picture & asked me how the machine works. Then I said, "it was an accident. You see, I was making a large clock to tell more acurate time, when a bundle of wires, transistors, capacitors, & 1k resistors fell in." Then the reporter went to the newspaper men. And what a story it was! it was sold at about 600 per hour! Then I looked at the paper, & it said that the denver govermint wanted me to come there & give him a demonstration. Well, I went to the L.A. airport, when a guy looked kind of suspicious, well, only kind of. But when I wasnt looking, (that is, on the plane) he quickly switched the machine I had with another large clock. And when I came to denver the govermint was surprised it didnt work. Then I said, "I dont understand. It worked on the bullys in town, & on my hotdog, so why dosent it work here?" Then the govermint said, "why dont you go back to get back the real shrinking & enlarging machine?" So I did. And when I got back, the first suspect was that guy that looked sort of suspicious. Then he came up 2 yds. away from me & turned the machine on 'slow' & pluged it into a large battery & the ray came out. And you know what happened then, I grew! And I grew to 9 ft. 6! And then he gave up. Then I went to see the govermint for a demonstration. After I gave the demonstration, he said it would be worth $3,000,000! Then I said, "I'd rather keep it to myself. Besides, it will solve the energy crisis." And I went back, took the lid off of a bottle of root beer, & enlarged it, & drank it (5 gallons (some if it (2½ gallons) I fed to the whole neighborhood).
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