The original, 1-page short story version of


Copyright © 1975 by Roger M. Wilcox. All rights reserved.
(writing on this story began 15-August-1975)
The original draft was written on a mechanical typewriter, single-spaced, with no right margin. I'd started to learn about those pesky little things called "paragraphs" by the time I wrote this, but I had yet to learn that paragraphs were supposed to be indented. The title was inspired by the catchphrase of the Professor from the Tintin comics. All spellings, punctuation, science "facts", capitalizations, colors, etc. are as in the original. Unfortunately, without scanning it in and presenting an image, I can't really convey all the typewriter overstrikes and formatting oddities I had to slog through in the original.

You have been warned.

At the begining of the human race, 4,000,000 years ago, Saturns rings were made, to tell us something. What that something is, we still (now) do not know. 4,000,000 Years past, & even now, 1975, today, we are unable to detect life on saturn, or it's rings.
12 Years past, & in 1987 (then), a strong radio signal came throughout the world. Everyones TV set or radio went blank & had a loud sound pass through them for 3 seconds, & then it stopped. The radio staition had nothing to do with it (they found out), & no one had a spark generator (they also found out)! The power of that radio beem caused a temporary brown-out (3 second) of 85 volts through the power lines throughout the world.
It was not from Mars (they found out in 1978), & not closer to the Sun, but further from it. It seemed to be from 897,000,000 miles away from the Sun. IT had to be from the last 4 planets in the solar system (because there was no possibility of life on Jupiter).


In 1994, a rocket was launched to Saturn, w/ men, & landed in 1997. They saw a guy out on its 5th moon, that was all purple! They then launched the rocket & landed on Saturn's 5th moon. It had an atmosphere of CO2 & O2. The temprature in the day is 67°, & in the night, 38°. The people walking around there were either purple, or yellow. That moon was covered ½ by water, & ½ by land. The oceans on that moon were 85% H2O, & 15% bugs (germs), & minerals. But the distilled water was 103% H2O! They also had 34 karit gold! The cows gave pasturized, homogenized milk, 3%, 2%, & ¼% milkfat (reg., low-fat, & nonfat milk)!
The 5th moon is the largest moon, but still only 3500 miles in diameter. Their outlets ranged from 1½ volts (like batteries) to 5800 volts (like power lines)! They also ranged from .01 amps to 8500 amps! So they ranged in voltage & current!
They then thought that theyed better go back to Earth. They then launched the rocket & headed back to Earth. The rocket only had 42 lbs. of fuel left, & 11 lbs. of fuel were used for launching. So for it's journey, it only had 31 lbs. of fuel. The rocket had used 165 lbs. of fuel to get from Saturn, to it's 5th moon (124 lbs. for launching off Saturn.) It gave several thrusts during the journey, each used up 1½ lbs. of fuel. Finally, they reached Earth, & used their 2 lbs. of propellent for landing.


The astronauts picked up a plant from Saturns 5th moon, strait out of the soil. The plant was then carefully examined from accurate scientists, whitch proved that this plant was just like 1 of Earth's! The astronauts then told them that it wasn't from Saturn, but from it's 5th moon, 3500 miles in diameter. "The atmosphere there was made of CO2 & O2! They had 103% H2O & 34 karit gold!" The astronauts said. "The people were either purple or yellow!" The astronauts said. "The cows on that moon gave pasturized, homogenized milk, 3%, 2%, & ¼% milkfat!" The astronauts then said.
The astronauts reported this to the newspaper reporters, & it came out in the newspaper immedietly. Everybody read about this, & demanded distruction of Saturn's 5th moon. They said, "destroy that moon, that moon is to be distructed, get rid of that moon!" So they didn't Argu, & sent an explosive, high speed rocket over to that moon, that took only 6 weeks to get there. After it exploded, Saturn had 2 rings, & 1 less moon.



Author's notes from 2013:

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