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Fascinating stuff matey, can i join your club?
I would be very interested to know how many people took your Square Earth parody page seriously :-)
Even better would be to print their emails in full (obviously without their
name/email details). This would make funny reading...
What have some of the responses been like?
[Editor's note: This person was obviously misguided. Parody page? I fired off a response praying for the redemption of his obviously hell-bound soul, but I fear that Satan has closed his ears to THE TRUTH.]
Great web site, made me laugh.
[Editor's note: This alarmed me, so I wrote a heated response in an attempt to bring this lost sheep back to the fold. A reply came forthwith:]
You need to get on Howard Stern to get your message out or an episode of Sponge Bob SQUARE PANTS.
From: Roger M. Wilcox [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Saturday, July 26, 2003 11:56 AM
To: Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxx (XX)
Subject: Re: The International Square Earth Society
At 03:11 PM 7/24/2003 -0500, you wrote:
>Great web site, made me laugh.
>A Unbelieving Heathen
Yeah, go ahead and laugh, you unbelieving round-earther -- but I'll be laughing down at YOU from Square Heaven when you're burning in Square Hell! Bwa ha ha ha ha! (Or should that be, "HAW HAW HAW!" ?)
I also noticed in your original message that you switched from an Arial font to a Times Roman font between "A U" and "nbelieving Heathen" -- does that mean you unconsciously DO believe, because you're making the U not count?
your article is good,but when you need god bless america,pat robertson and
other unfounded examples to prove you point.you have non,the earth is round.
get serious and stoping joking.
stop threating people who don't accept you unfounded ideas.
give real proof,not stupidty.the bible says this and that,ha, trying to prey on innocent god fearing people,come on you are better than that,pull up your pants and do better.
Please tell me this is a joke.
I presune you have SOME physical evidence for this lunacy?
Bewildered Disinformation Agent
alright... dude... Here is what you do In fact someone already did this in ' 81. You take a plane specially designed to be light and to hold a lot of fuel. Then you fly in this plane. I dunno pick a direction, lets say east. anyway fly east and when you A) see the end of the earth or B) get back to where you started then you can stop. Another idea is to take a ship from the east coast to England, drive across Europe then Asia until you get to the pacific ocean. take another boat from this point and eventually you will once again be in America both of these methods can be used by a compass easily purchased for about five dollars and or one made from a pin a cork and a bowl of water. If you are stuck for cash you can interview any number of people who have crossed the pacific, and any more people you want who have crossed the Atlantic. That large a number of people can't all be lying and in this age of information and education they can't all be fooled either. another idea is to take a commercial pilots course and see what they have to say on this subject. You may also ask any and all members of your denomination of Christianity, if they are all 'in congress with Satan then you should immediately begin considering either a change in faith or believing the earth is round, or both.
[Editor's note: Sadly, this person's well-meaning suggestion for an experiment is fundamentally flawed. By flying "east", the plane would be following a latitude line, and latitude lines make sharp 90° turns on the flat surface of the square earth in order to get back to where they started.]
Tell me why Columbus and his 3 ships not fall off the earth? You say that airline pilots are not Christians. The Bible says that you should not judge others and by the way you don't know what is in their hearts.
[Editor's note: How does this person know that Columbus' ships didn't fall off the earth? Such "facts" are usually learned through the public schools, which are also known for preaching evolution and religious tolerance.]
I was just browsing the internet and I regret stumbled upon this "square earth" belief. how can u believe that the earth is square and how can u be so stupid enough to believe that there is no space program or pilots make "90 degree turns" at the equator. MORON. My uncle is an astronought, his name is John Phillips and guess what, he went up to space in the space shuttle. And guess what.....the earth is ROUND!!!!! what a novel concept. the pictures of earth in space, you don't believe those? then let me ask you this, how do satellites orbit around a square object and take topographic pictures of the earth, that are round????, or are the satellites fake too huh?, ONLY A MORON CAN TALK TO WAY YOU DO. ITS INCREDIBLE. pilots are not "with the devil", Hollywood is not "with the devil" you are with the devil. By telling people everyone is going to go to hell, you are going to go to hell. Maybe you should consider learning about physics and chemistry before posting this ridiculous site, and learn why shapes take a round for when in zero0gravity.
Let me give u a suggestion, write your story scientifically, not biblically. Because to be honest with you, know one really understands science so you could just b.s. the science, and they would believe you. So I suggest that u take this ridiculous belief out and learn where your priorities are, because you are only making yourself look stupid.
I think your article is simply genious. It kept me laughing for about a week,
and I must admit it can go as far as the funniest thing I've read up to date.
Especially that FAQ part. Man, I just couldn't get over it!! I laughed and woke up my entire neighborhood.
By the way, I checked the "matzuk" word and it is only partly correct - the meaning is actually the legenary pillars that holds the earth, or something like that, and it has no connection to metal or anything else.
I think that making people laugh this hard is a great donation for humanity. Thank you. I delivered it to all of my friends who laughed insanly as well.
If this is not a joke, then please tell me so. :\
[Editor's note: I've got some baaaaaad news for you....]
Greetings from the United Kingdom chapter of the Square Earth Society.
OK, so you didn't know there was one.
Well we didn't know there was a US one as a matter of fact and our lawyers might well want to to talk to your lawyers about the matter of prior art.
This fine organisation had its origins in a previous but rather misguided grouping that went by the name of the Flat Earth Society. A position that as you have pointed out in your splendid summary is wholly untenable. The Flat Earth Society was founded in about 1970 but we can't remember exactly why, when or how. Too much curry and Malt Whisky.
But now we have seen the light and can see for bloody miles.
We'd invite you to join us in our latest endeavour but it's a bit late, (we are leaving at 0830 GMT - or UTC if you really insist) especially as Concorde has bitten the proverbial.On 12/12/2003 (it's hard even for the Yanks to be confused by this date) the S.E.S. starts out on our Winter Expedition to the very summit of England - Scafell Pike - where we intent to ascertain by means of various photographic and surveying instruments the full extent of the squareness of the surface of the visible world.
If you wish to be kept upto date with the results of our Scientific Endeavours and Proofs then we will be happy to oblige.
Hon. Sec. Square Earth Society
PS You really should do something aout your Web Page Fonts. I commend to you the Fine and Appropriate 'Square Circle' font. Apply to my good frind Mr Google for further enlightenment.
What are you on? I believe that the Earth is a sphere and I'm not going to go to hell for believing that. I was utterly shocked when you said that anyone who thought otherwise of the Earth being square would go to hell. God is pure love, and if this is true then he would never kick anyone out of heaven for believing that the Earth is not a square. Do you seriously believe that airline pilots are Devil supporters?? Why would anyone go out of their way to convince the world that the Earth is a sphere if it was really a square? You can believe whatever yiou want but I just think your ideas are outrageous and ludacris. By the way, I'm 14 and I think you're CRAZY!!
Take your medication,
[after replying to the above, the same person was gracious enough to e-mail me back:]
God would never wish for his children to be decieved by Satan! Just because I believe that the Earth is a sphere doesn't mean that I'm going to hell. I read your website over again and I'm starting to think that your a complete fake! OJ Simpson is in on this?? YAH RIGHT! This is way to farfetched to be real. THE EARTH IS A SPHERE!!!
The next year's mailbag archive: 2004
Got a problem with any of this? Want to see your words of praise appear alongside those above? Then contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org and I will hearken.
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