Ode to Pizza

by Roger M. Wilcox
first posted to the Usenet newsgroup rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc on 3-July-1998

O Pizza, Thou noblest of vegetables,
Who dares to walk where others fear to tread!

Yea, by the strength of Thy Crust, thou standest!
And by the strength of Thy Sauce, thou movest!
And by the strength of Thy Cheese, thou winnest!
I am unworthy to gaze upon Thy Pepperonies.

The circle of Thy Shape shall be my shield,
And the points of Thine Slices shall be my swords,
Though I may walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
By Thy Grace,
I shall not want for any of the four basic food groups.

Though Thy Fats and Oils give me a spare tire,
Not to mention the occasional bout of the runs,
And the nitrites of Thy Pepperonies can't be doing me much good —
But verily, Thy hearty Flavor, Thy sensuous Texture,
The stringy threads of Thy hot Cheese as I take a bite,
The thrill as Thy munched-up pieces travel down my throat
To my eagerly awaiting stomach!
I would not trade Thee for all the tea in China.
(The fact that I don't like tea notwithstanding.)

Pizza, Thou brave warrior, Thou dearest friend,
Thou most intimate of lovers;
(Hey!  I meant that in a spiritual way!
Getteth thy mind out of the gutter!)
Thou who wert always there when all else had abandoned me,
Thou shalt never vanish from the Earth.

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