The original draft was written on an electric typewriter. It was originally an assignment in my 11th grade Science Fiction Literature class. I kid you not, one of our options for this assignment was "Write a new Star Trek script." Fan fiction for a writing assignment? What could be better! All spellings, punctuation, capitalizations, misnamed communications officers, etc. are as in the original.
KIRK: Captain's log, stardate 1782.4. We are in pursuit of a Klingon battlecruiser that has recently attacked a Fed- eration outpost. We don't want war, so we'll have to destroy it as soon as possible. SULU: Captain, the Klingon has just accelerated to warp eight. KIRK: Ok, then, accelerate to follow, arm photon torpedoes, and see if you can hit him before he gets out of range. SCOTTY: But Cap'n, sir, the warp drive engines are overloaded as it is! If we accelerate any more it could do irrep- parable damage to the dilithium crystals! KIRK: I'm not worried; we've been in tougher scrapes before. Bring us up to warp eight; we can't let the Klingon escape! SCOTTY: Aye aye, sir. --- As the ship sails up towards the enemy Klingon vessel, a beam of blue-white light streaks from the direct rear of the Klingon, striking the Enterprise square. --- KIRK: We've been hit! Damage report, lieutennant O'hura. O'HURA: The front shields are still holding, but the force of the impact damaged our warp engines. SCOTTY: I was afraid of that, what with the load they were under. SPOCK: We have also been flung off-course, sir, and are rapidly approaching sector X-1. KIRK: X-1? That's the sector containing the black hole! If we fall into it, we'll be crushed beyond existence! Scotty, get us full impulse power - change our course, fast! SCOTTY: Aye, Captain! (Pause) SPOCK: Impulse engines working, but ineffective; we are already within the gravity field of the black hole. KIRK: Scotty, get those warp engines working - fast! If we don't get out of here in time, I don't need to say what will happen to us! SCOTTY: I'll do my best, Captain. SPOCK: Gravity increasing, event horizon approaching rapidly. We've less than ten seconds to impact. KIRK: Scotty, ya better hurry. SCOTTY: I'm workin' me fastest. It seemed the shields absorbed most of the impact, and what with the Klingon's phasers being so much weaker than ours, I'll easily be able to fix the engines. But with less that ten seconds, I don't know.... SPOCK: Three seconds...two...one... KIRK: No!!! SCOTTY: I got it!!! --- The starship plunges into the black hole. --- KIRK: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship "Enterprise." Its five year mission: To explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civili- zation - To boldly go where no man has gone before! --- STAR TREK --- DARTH: I have you now, Luke! LUKE: No, no, don't do it, Darth! ROBERT CULP: Easy, Luke. Don't take it so hard! LUKE: I know, I know. My doctor says I've been getting too much caffeene. ROBERT: Well, then you should try Stanka brand. LUKE: But I only like real coffee. ROBERT: Dammit, Luke, Stanka IS real coffee!! LUKE: Ulp! Okay, okay, whatever you say! --- THREE WEEKS LATER --- ROBERT: Well, Luke, how goes the ol' rebellion? LUKE: Just great, thanks to Stanka brand! ANNOUNCER: And now, back to our program. KIRK: Captain's log supplemental. A phaser blast from the Klingon knocked us off-course into the black hole at Cygnus X-1. By all rites, we should have been crushed, but thanks to Lieutennant Scott's brilliant effort, the warp engines were operating before we were thrown into the event horizon, and thus we escaped, somehow, unharmed. SPOCK: It would appear that we are a victim of very narrow chance, Captain. If Scotty had repaired the engines one second later, we would have been crushed, having not been protected by a surrounding field of warp-space. If Scotty had repaired the engines a couple of seconds earlier, we would have built up enough power to exceed warp one and escape the black hole's gravity. Fascinating. KIRK: Yes, it is fascinating. Scotty, how are the warp engines coming along? SCOTTY: I don't understand it,Captain - the instruments show they're operating perfectly normally, but the detectors show an excess quantity of anti-matter being generated directly behind the ship, and besides, we're not even moving! KIRK: Hmmm ... well, if they're generating excessive antimatter, shut them down; I don't want my ship going off in a matter-antimatter reaction. Something very strange has been going on around here. For instance, there's this strange report just in from the recreation room. It seems that while a man was playing three-dimensional chess, he placed his bishop on king's level-4, and the playing piece fell right through the board. In fact, every piece on the board, once he touched it, fell right through to the tabletop. Strange...very strange. SULU: A report just came in from one of our chem labs, sir. One of our scientists was just caught in an explosion - while mixing helium with mercury! KIRK: But...that's impossible. Helium doesn't react with any- thing under normal conditions! SPOCK: Could any of these strange occurrences have anything to do with our little trip through the black hole? KIRK: Maybe so...but I've got to make certain. I just want to do one more test. (He gets up, walks over to a side area on the bridge, opens a door, and takes out a small glass tube.) This tube contains gaseous hydrogen, which glows a pinkish color when electrical current is passed through it. I'll turn on the current from here. (He presses a small switch in the back of the tube, and to everyone's amazement...) SCOTTY: It's glowin' bright green! KIRK: Yes, it is! SPOCK: Then it would appear that we are...not of matter. (dramatic music) KIRK: Yes...of course, we're not of matter - because matter couldn't exist if it were in another universe! When we passed through that black hole, we came out indo another universe, completely unlike our own. While we were going through the black hole, our material forms were converted into some weird substance, completely unlike matter, that would be acceptable to this universe! We only look the same because that's the way we perceive ourselves from the standpoint of this new universe! And although some physical laws may be slightly different, the majority of them will appear the same, due to our complete change of perception! SPOCK: Brilliant, Captain. I couldn't have said it better myself. SULU: Captain, sir, we came out of the black hole in the middle of a rather large galaxy. There's a yellow star only a few light-days away, sir. Shall we explore it? KIRK: Yes, why not? We might as well learn as much about this new universe as we possibly can. Set course for that star under impulse drive. SULU: Aye aye, sir. (pause) O'HURA: Sir, are you sure we're using impulse drive? The star seems to be approaching us at over five times the speed of light! KIRK: Aha! Based on that information, calculate the new speed of light for this universe. We're gonna conquer this baby yet. SPOCK: Calculations coming in now, Captain. It seems that the speed of light in our present universe is approximately 7.58 times the accepted constant c, the speed of light in our original universe. KIRK: Good! That means we'll reach the yellow star in only a matter of hours --- Time passes. The starship drifts through the universe at an unusal sub-light speed, constantly approaching a medium- sized, yellow star. --- SPOCK: The system seems to have seven planets, two of which are of the jovian gas-giant type, the other five of which are the terrestrial type. KIRK: Are there any class M planets among the terrestrials? SPOCK: There is one; the second planet out from the star has what appears to be a fifty percent oxygen atmosphere, judging from its reflective properties. Although, from this range, we cannot be certain. (to one side of the stage, Dr. McCoy enters) KIRK: Good. Mr. Sulu, set a course for the second planet from the star. SULU: Aye aye, sir. McCOY: What's happening, Jim? KIRK: What's happening, Bones, is that we're going to explore the first life-supporting planet we've discovered in the universe. McCOY: But what about the changes in the physical laws? For all we know, that "oxygen" as our sensors read it could be chlorine gas! We only determined the atmospheric com- position by its reflective properties, you know. KIRK: Yes, I know that Bones. But that's the chance we're going to have to take. We'll use oxygen masks, but only until one of us gets up the courage to taste the new planet's air. We'll have to find out, sooner or later. BONES: Well, I don't like it. SULU: Planet reached and orbit secured. BONES: Wow, that was fast! KIRK: Don't underestimate this universe; it could give us more than we'd expected, ever. SPOCK: Short-range sensors have confirmed it, Captain. The planet's atmosphere is fifty percent Oxygen and a little over fourty-nine percent Nitrogen. The pressure on the surface is approximately two-fifths of an atmosphere, Earth-pressure. KIRK: Great! We should feel right at home then. SPOCK: Maybe you, sir, but not me. The planet Vulcan has an atmosphere consisting of about half as much oxygen as you normally breathe. I'll only be going from one concentration of oxygen to another, equally as thick and hard to breathe. The fact that I decided to be an officer in a human-oriented starship is most illogical. KIRK: Not really. You did what the human side of you told you to do. BONES: Please, Jim, don't bring him into that argument again! KIRK: Oh, all right. Scotty, prepare the transporter. Bones, Spock - we're beaming down. Pick up some oxygen masks from supply, but be certain not to get the plastic kind. They'll fall apart instantly on touch. (on the bridge, they leave, and enter the transporter room. They are already wearing their oxygen masks) KIRK: Well, Spock, you look happy! SPOCK: I have the oxygen flow on my mask set to one-half. That way, I can breathe the old, familiar atmosphere of my home planet, Vulcan. BONES: No wonder you Vulcans act so weird; you're deoxygenated! KIRK: Energize, Mr. Scott. SCOTTY: Aye, sir. (In a few seconds of light and sound, the three reappear on the surface of the planet) BONES: Well, it sure looks barren enough. (Spock begins to take Tricorder readings) KIRK: Yes, it certainly does. No life, anywhere. SPOCK: Wrong, Captain. According to this, the planet is almost as filled with life as your Earth was before the twent- ieth century. KIRK: Well, then, where are the life forms? SPOCK: ...right...here! (he pulls a rather odd-shaped piece of dirt from the ground) This mound of dirt is alive, Cap- tain, the same way a plant is alive. KIRK: Well, at least that's something. I'm going to take a chance and remove my oxygen mask. BONES: But you might die! SPOCK: Dr. McCoy is correct. If I were to remove my oxygen mask, I would have a better chance of surviving, since Vulcan biology is more immune to some poisons. KIRK: Okay, then, go ahead. (Spock removes his mask, and immediately begins retching) KIRK: Spock? What is it? Are you all right? What's wrong with the air? SPOCK: Nothing's (ulgh) wrong with it, Captain. (Pant, pant) It's the same thing, sickly air on your Earth and on the Enterprise. KIRK: (removing his mask) Yahoo! I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be glad to see you sick! McCOY: (removing his mask also) I've always dreamed of it. KIRK: What? SPOCK: Do not worry, Captain. I know the doctor is only kidding. It may be childish and illogical, but I can recognize it. KIRK: C'mon, guys, let's explore. (they set out on foot in an arbitrary direction to explore their new found world. After a few minutes (15 seconds screen time), Captain kirk comes upon something quite peculiar) KIRK: Spock - I just felt something very strange, like I was really light-headed or something. (by now he has stopped walking) SPOCK: That sounds like the doctor's territory to me. KIRK: No - I don't mean light-headed in the sense of feeling faint - I mean physically light-headed, like my head lost weight! SPOCK: Hmmm...when and where did you feel this? KIRK: Just a few seconds ago - back there aways. SPOCK: Step back along your path. I want to make sure of some- thing. KIRK: Ok, but I don't see...Hold it! There it is again! My head feels like it weighs almost nothing! SPOCK: Put your hand in the air, slightly above your head. KIRK: Ok. Wow! It feels like it's in zero gravity! SPOCK: That's probably because it is. KIRK: What? SPOCK: My tricorder showed a low-gravity zone just about at that point, but I was reluctant to believe it at first. Now, I'm certain of it. KIRK: That's just great, but what does it mean? SPOCK: Most logically, Captain, it means that you've found one of the planet's synchronous points. KIRK: Synchronous points? You mean, as in synchronous orbit?!? SPOCK: Precisely. It would appear that in this universe, a planet of this size has its synchronous points only six feet off the ground. Fascinating. McCOY: Hey, Jim, let me try that! (Kirk freely gets out of his way while McCoy jumps up to the synchronous point) Wheeeeeee!!! This is fun! KIRK: Sure, go ahead, Bones. A little louder, and you'll wake the natives! (suddenly, a lound scream penetrates the air from behind the group. The turn around just in time to see a four foot tall life form aiming a gleaming weapon at them, and readying to fire.) KIRK: Bones, Spock, get down! (Spock dives for it, and Kirk pulls Dr. McCoy from the air just in time to miss a beam of hot, red light. Spock recognizes the light form inst- antly) SPOCK: Coherent light. He must be using a laser. KIRK: They have laser guns? That means their technology prob- ably isn't too far behind ours. (Suddenly, another scream is heard, and another alien materializes next to the first one, firing as he does) Phasers, on stun. BONES: Any time you're ready, Jim. (another sizzling beam of coherent light passes just above their heads) KIRK: Fire! (In two concussions of blue light, both aliens are knocked out) Spock, the next time you see one of those gays, use the language translator attached to the side of your communicator. SPOCK: That would appear to be the logical thing to do. (as if on cue, another alien appears where the other two lay unconscious. This time, he is unarmed) Language trans- lator activated. They seem to speak about ten thousand cycles above normal human hearing. TRANSLATOR: Aliens. More-aliens-have-come. We-will-not-let- these-aliens-do-what-the-others-have-done-in-the- past. This-time, they-will-be-destroyed. No-more- aliens-shall-rape-our-lands-and-destroy-our-people. We-have-experienced-it-too-often-in-the-past, with- too-many-races. KIRK: So that's it. They want to destroy us because they think we will take them for everything they've got. Spock, how can we tell them we come in peace? SPOCK: I don't think that matters, Captain. Listen - TRANSLATOR: The-first-thing-they-will-do-is-tell-us-they-come- in-peace. If-that-is-peace, we-would-rather-fight. KIRK: Oh dear. (he flips open his communicator) Kirk to Enter- prise. SCOTTY: Enterprise to Kirk, Scott here. KIRK: Three to beam up, and fast. SCOTTY: Aye aye, Captain. (once again, they are enveloped with bubbling light and reappear in the transporter room) KIRK: That was too close. These aliens I think mean business. Their race has been constantly plundered by other alien races, and they're not about to greet us with open arms. SCOTTY: You mean, you found intelligent life? KIRK: Yes - intelligent life, with laser guns. (he comes up to a speaker unit on one wall and speaks into it) Sulu, plot us a course out of here, as fast as possible. SULU: Yes, Captain. (the engines begin to emit their familiar sound that reminds everyone on board of a generator working under a heavy load) O'HURA: Captain, come up to the bridge at once! You won't be- lieve this! KIRK: Okay, got it. Kirk out. (he walks with Spock, Bones, and Scotty to the elevator) Elevator, bridge. (the elevator begins to move upward) What do you think's troubling lieutennant O'hura? Bones: Probably another one of the strange quirks of this universe. KIRK: Perhaps, but she sounded as if it must be pretty impor- tant. (the elevator opens, the four walk out on the bridge, and are instantly astounded) Oh, my! (the view- screen is displaying a large vessel, about twice the size of the Enterprise, closing in fast) SPOCK: It appears to be a form of interstellar ramscoop, Cap- tain. KIRK: Yes, it is a ramscoop. I haven't seen one of those since I studied the first Romulan war! And even then, they were being replaced with compact Impulse engines on things like the Romulan warbird and the Federation light cruiser. BONES: Well, whatever it is, it's coming right toward us, and - Holy Matrimony! It's shooting at us! KIRK (taking his seat in the command chair): Mr. Sulu, commence evasive action. Helmsman, arm the left phaser banks. (the ship rocks slightly as the missile strikes the shields, deflecting most of the damage out into deep space) SPOCK: Captain, shield control reports minimal damage on rear shielding. KIRK: No problem. Sulu, turn left. Helmsman, fire phasers on my command. SULU & HELM: Aye aye, sir. (the ship pulls through the turn with some inertia) KIRK: Fire! SPOCK: Phaser banks shut down due to massive overheating and matter-antimatter imbalance. No phaser beams were pro- duced. KIRK: But why? Our hand phaser worked perfectly! SPOCK: Your hand phasers were only phased beams of naturally occurring energy forms. The ships phasers rely heavily on warp space to propel them instantaneously to their targets. KIRK: ...so what you're saying is, our phaser are useless. SPOCK: That is correct. KIRK: Okay, then, arm photon torpedoes. Sulu, prepare to attack the ramscoop head-on. (suddenly, another missile strikes the Enterprise squarely in the front. The shield negates the blast, but the missile is suddenly followed by a high-intensity laser beam) SCOTTY: That beam sliced right through our forward shields in the weak spot the missile created! Those aliens sure know their battle tactics. KIRK: Yes, and I wouldn't be surprised if those were the same aliens that tried to kill us on the surface of the planet. They were at about the technical level of ramscoops. Damage control - what did they hit? O'HURA: Our photon torpedo banks, sir. KIRK: Damn! Sulu, hard about. Scotty, get us full impulse power. We've got to get out of firing range of that ram- scoop. SCOTTY: Aye, sir, but don't forget that a ramscoop o' that size could probably outrun impulse drive. KIRK: But they need more time to accelerate! If we can get out of here before they reach our speed, we might be able to give 'em the slip. SCOTTY: Okay, sir - I'll do me best. SPOCK: Fast getaway ineffective, Captain - the ramscoop has already built up too much velocity. (another missile streaks towards the ship, about five times as big as the two before it, but this time the Enterprise evades it) KIRK: Did you see the size of that thing? I wouldn't be sur- prised if they had atomic weapons. A good nuclear blast could eat right through our shields as fast as a phaser. (Kirk looks down at the instruments on the arm of his chair, and sees the messages: "object closing" and "estimated time to impact: five minutes") KIRK: Impact? Yes...that's it! Scotty, shut down the impulse engines, and bring the warp drive up to full power. SCOTTY: The warp drive, sir? But I don't understand! KIRK: Just do it, and fast! SCOTTY: Aye, sir, but I still don't get it. KIRK (to everyone): Scotty said the warp drive created a cloud of antimatter behind our ship. If we suddenly cut speed, he'll be too fast-approaching to decelerate, and will ram into us. Before he does, though, he'll hit the antimatter cloud. That should finish him off for good. I just hope our shields and our warp engines can take it. (the second readout immediately changed to: "estimated time to impact: 30 seconds") KIRK: Scott, how're our warp engines doing? SCOTTY: Aye, I'm not worried about them being pushed all the way to warp ten; they can take the strain since they haven't been in use for so long. What worries me is the fact that antimatter wanders around as aimlessly as matter does, and the antimatter cloud could easily back up into the warp engines. That would destroy them instantly. KIRK: Great, just keep it up. We'll need that cloud to be as big as possible if we're gonna stop the ramscoop. Kirk out. (he switches to a rear view of the Enterprise, and sees the sparkling clouds of antimatter, scintillating whenever they encounter an atom of regular matter) It was strange how freely he used the word "matter." He's forgotten that we're in another universe entirely, that we are not of matter at all, but of some other substance beyond our comprehension. Oh well, it was an easy mistake; I was beginning to forget, myself. COMPUTER: Twenty-seconds-to-impact. KIRK: Helm, power to side and reverse shields. Be ready to bring them up to full. We're gonna have one hell of a blast on our hands. SCOTTY: Captain, the antimatter cloud on the port side is back- ing up! We must cut power to save the engine! KIRK: Negative. Keep both engines going at full blast. Even if we lose both engines, we have to ensure a complete kill of that ramscoop. Believe me, the scoop won't be an easy obstacle to overcome. COMPUTER: Ten-seconds-to-impact. Nine... KIRK: Helm, full power to side and rear shields, and reinforce the rear shield with all the ships remaining power. (suddenly, the ship shakes violently.) SCOTTY: I was afraid of this, Cap'n. The left warp engine was blown up by a matter-antimatter reaction! KIRK: (There goes that misnaming again!) Thanks for the info, but it won't do any good. COMPUTER: Five-seconds-to-impact... KIRK: Brace yourselves, everybody! We've already lost an engine! COMPUTER: Three...two...one... (The ramscoop strikes the rear of the ship just before the shield. Suddenly, the ramscoop turns into a great mass of light as its entire body is enveloped and consumed by an antimatter cloud. The whole enemy ship then blows up, not unlike a super- nova. Inside, the crew are flung from side to side as the Enterprise's tough hull is pushed to its limits) (and then, the event is over) KIRK (amid the exuberant cheering of the crew): Lieutennant O'Hura, give us a damage report. O'HURA: Aside from the warp engine we lost, twenty of the crew are dead, and thirty injured. Rear and side shields are completely gone, and our side phasers are damaged. KIRK (sadly): Twenty crew dead...yes. I guess it was the price. O'HURA: But don't you understand, sir? The cheering? We did it! KIRK: Yes, we certainly did. We've given battle wounds to fifty of our own personnel, twenty of which were mortally wounded. But more importantly, we defeated a space ship. A space ship which probably carried at least twice as many crew members of a race that had been always the underdog, and was just now beginning to fight for its freedom. Because of what we did, for all we know, we could have thrown an entire race into oblivion. But, like you said, we did it. BONES: Hey, look Jim, don't take it so hard. If you didn't destroy them, they would have surely destroyed us. You only did what you had to do. KIRK: Yes. I know, but whenever I destroy an enemy space ship, even if it's a Romulan vessel, I can't help thinking how many intelligent life forms I'm destroying. BONES: Yes, I feel the same whay whenever I lose a patient. KIRK: Somehow, that doesn't make it any easier. SCOTTY: Captain, I turned off the warp drive, but there's still a trace quantity of antimatter behind the ship. I suggest we move out of the way. KIRK: Huh? Oh, yes, of course. Sulu, move us out of here at half power. SULU: Sure thing, Captain! KIRK: Captain's log, stardate 1783.1. The new universe has shown us some interesting and fascinating qualities, not the least of which was a battle to the death against an alien ramscoop. We destroyed it, with some difficulty, but I feel that by our doing so, we also destroyed the only hope for an entire race. SPOCK: Captain, look - a quasar. We appear to have stumbled upon the white hole from which we emerged into this universe. KIRK: Yes, but why is it in the middle of a galaxy? SPOCK: One cannot expect logic from a universe he knows prac- tically nothing about. KIRK: Well, if it's the white hole we came out of, maybe then we can go back through it to our own universe! SPOCK: Negative, Captain. A white hole is a one-way door; we cannot go back through. KIRK: Well, maybe - just maybe - that's a little different in this universe. SPOCK: No, Captain. White holes and black holes are extra- universal. Their laws are governed by a higher state of existence than any one universe; they are governed by the adamant laws of Absolute Space. KIRK: Then...there's no way we can go back? SPOCK: Precisely, Captain. We appear to be stuck here. KIRK: If that is a white hole! SPOCK: Come again, Captain? KIRK: You say that black & white holes are governed by absolute space, right? SPOCK: Correct. KIRK: Then maybe, if our perception were changed, they'd look different. SPOCK: I do not understand, Captain. KIRK: We perceive this universe in terms of its own substance, not of matter, correct? SPOCK: Correct. KIRK: But no matter what our perception, black & white holes will appear the same in any universe. SPOCK: Correct. KIRK: So maybe, we're being deceived! This may not be a quasar or a white hole at all, but a black hole, perhaps back to our own universe! SPOCK: Hmmm...illogical, but it might work. KIRK: That's using the ol' human spirit, Spock! Sulu, set a course for that "white" hole up ahead. Helm, front shields on full. Scotty, be ready to engage the warp engine just when we're about to go in. SCOTTY: Warp ten, sir? KIRK: No, warp one will be enough. COMPUTER: Fifteen-seconds-to-impact... KIRK: If I'm wrong,...I hope I won't be. COMPUTER: Ten-seconds-to-impact... KIRK: Get ready, Scotty... COMPUTER: Five-seconds...four... KIRK: Scotty, engage warp drive - now! SCOTTY: Warp drive engaged, sir! COMPUTER: Two...one... (In one second, the Enterprise enters the glowing, black hole. In one more second, it emerges out the other side, as safe as can be) KIRK: WE DID IT!!!! (the entire crew cheers, at least as loud as before) KIRK: I have one more test....(he retrieves the hydrogen gas tube) Here goes... SCOTTY: As purple-pink as ever sir. KIRK: Then, this is it! This is our own universe! (He breathes a heavy sigh of relief) Say, I wonder what happened to that Klingon we were engaging? SPOCK: Nothing much could have happened. His security stations had been destroyed, and a mutiny would've occurred any minute. KIRK: Then, we have nothing to worry about. How much time do you think has passed since we left the universe? SPOCK: Probably none. Don't forget, time is only applicable to our own universe. KIRK: Great. How much warp drive capacity do we have? SULU: With one engine? Warp five, sir. We're just outside the Milky Way galaxy. KIRK: Then warp five it is! Ah, the Milky way once again - back to the good ol' Federation. I can identify some of the stars from here - there's Deneb, there's our local group near the sun - and there's Cygnus X-1. BONES: Please, don't mention black holes again for a long, long time! --- The starship sails towards the galaxy at warp five, and fades off into the distance. ---THE END---