[_Borged to Death!_, continued from part 2] ACT IV Ext. deep space. The Roanoke de-cloaks. PICARD'S VOICE (voice-over) Admiral's log, stardate 65127.6 and a little bit extra. Int. Roanoke bridge. Picard is milling about impatiently. PICARD'S VOICE (continued) (voice-over) The Weapon has achieved our goal. No Borg are left in the Alpha Quadrant. Now comes the hard part. We have to get our djinni back in her bottle before she decides to take over the Federation -- or to annihilate it. RIKER (grinning) You don't have a plan to put her back, do you? PICARD *Starfleet* doesn't have a plan to put her back. We didn't have a plan the first time, either. RIKER We could shoot at the Enterprise F's bridge and hope she gets taken out. PICARD No, no, she'll see us coming, even with our cloaking device. We'd be blown to smithereens before we were close enough to target her bridge. DATA We could wait until she was asleep. The rest of her Kids Crew may lack the skill to detect a cloaked ship. If so, we might be able to sneak within transporter range before they can raise their shields. PICARD Hmmm ... we don't know for sure when she *will* be asleep, or that we can avoid detection. It'd be a tough gamble. GEORDI LAFORGE We could bypass the quantum phase-modulator arrays in the plasma conduits, thereby frequency-limiting the gravimetric fluctuations in the warp nacelles and hopefully inducing a soliton static-warp shield-harmonic attenuation grid over the triassic subresonance field. DATA But that would nullify the antideuteron injector assembly's Heisenberg destabilizers and could potentially cause a cascading magneton collapse in the ambivulent bivationary falvebarms. PICARD You two have been playing with the random technobabble generator, haven't you? GEORDI (smugly) Admiral, I *am* the random technobabble generator! PICARD We're going with Mister Data's plan. We need to know when Marrissa's next nap time is due. Do we have any archive data on her sleeping patterns? DATA (interrupting) We have an incoming message from Federation headquarters, sir. It is ... the President. PICARD The *President*? Onscreen! Angle on viewscreen. LWAXANA TROI's face appears. LWAXANA Admiral! May I say, your shiny scalp is looking quite handsome today! PICARD Uh ... thank you, madame President. LWAXANA Admiral, I've just received word from the Defiant. They've been pursuing the Enterprise from a safe distance under cloak, and monitoring its activity. Their readings indicate that the Enterprise is preparing to break the Transwarp Threshold. PICARD The old Warp Ten Barrier? Marrissa must be out of her mind! LWAXANA Admiral, if she can do it without turning into a salamander, she could go anywhere in the universe. Instantly. There's not a nook or cranny in any quadrant that would be safe from her. She could even go so far as to invade the Andromeda Galaxy and enslave the Kelvans. (she leans closer) This is an *election year*, Jean-Luc! If all of galactic civilization falls, I'd lose the vote in *several key states*! You have to stop her *now*. Federation out. The viewscreen reverts to its normal view of space. PICARD (groans) Red alert, set course for the Enterprise's last known location, maximum warp. Red alert lights go on. Picard sits down in the command chair. DATA Course plotted and laid in, sir. PICARD (pointing in classic Captain Picard style) Engage. Sound effects: Romulan warp engines powering up. Without warning, President Lwaxana Troi pops back on the viewscreen again. LWAXANA Oh, but don't hurt the poor dear -- my Joint Chiefs say we might need her in the next war. The viewscreen reverts to the external view once more. PICARD (rubbing his temples) President Troi. What the heck were we thinking? (beat) Well, so much for catching Marrissa asleep. I'll have to think up a plan on the fly. Ext. Roanoke rubber-bands to warp. Ext. Establishing shot of the Enterprise F. Int. Enterprise F bridge. MARRISSA Engineering, what's taking you so long? Int. Enterprise F engineering. A few kids between 5 and 10 years old are milling about; they are wearing Starfleet engineering uniforms. Clara is sitting at a panel touching some buttons. CLARA Hold your horses, your majesty. You can't just jump to infinite speed by flicking a switch, you know. Int. Enterprise F bridge. MARRISSA But it's been *ten* *whole* *minutes*! I wanna go *no-o-o-o-ow*!! (stamps her feet) Int. Enterprise F engineering. CLARA Look, at the high warp frequencies we need, ordinary dilithium breaks down, all right? I only figured out a way to keep it stable six minutes ago. We're converting reserve dilithium to my new form as fast as we can. Int. Enterprise F bridge. MARRISSA (exasperated sigh) CLARA'S VOICE (off-screen, filtered) And in the mean time, I have to set up a depolarization matrix across the *entire* hull of the ship. The work would go a lot faster if I had more engineers, like the ones you beamed away onto the Roanoke. MARRISSA Oh, so now it's *my* fault, is it?! PATTERSON Admiral, we're receiving a hail from (surprised) the Roanoke. MARRISSA (a bit perturbed) Onscreen. Angle on viewscreen. Jean-Luc Picard's face appears. PICARD Well, Marrissa, congratulations on wiping out the Borg! I suppose you'll want to come back to a Federation starbase now, relax a little, bask in the glory and adulation, maybe lie down next to the swimming pool and throw every man that hits on you into the water -- MARRISSA Not on your life, cue-ball. I've only just gotten warmed up. I intend to finish what I started with the Borg, then maybe blow up Romulus -- and *then* I start getting down to business! PICARD Really? I thought you'd at least want to take care of your personal grooming needs first. Your roots look a little dark. MARRISSA (seething) Are you insinuating that I dye my hair?! I'll have you know this is my natural color! PICARD (pretending not to believe her) *Sure* it is, 'Rissa. MARRISSA (eyes glow red) Nobody ... calls me ... *'Rissa*!! Int. Roanoke bridge. We get a glimpse of Marrissa on the viewscreen about to blow her top, just before Picard signals to cut off their transmission and the screen reverts to a normal outside view. PICARD (hurriedly) Activate cloak! Maximum warp, engage! Ext. Roanoke. The ship arcs to the side and begins rubber-banding to warp just as it wavers into invisibility. Nearby, the Enterprise F activates its warp engines and leaps in pursuit. Int. Roanoke bridge. DATA The Enterprise is following us. PICARD Good. Set course for the Sol system and engage. DATA (touching a few panel buttons) Course change complete, sir. RIKER (grinning) "Your roots look a little dark?" That was the best plan you could come up with? PICARD It got her attention, didn't it? DATA We have reached maximum warp, sir. Unfortunately, the power drain caused by the cloaking device limits this vessel to warp twelve. RIKER But the Enterprise can go warp eighteen! We'll never outrun her! DATA The Enterprise has closed to weapons range, Admiral. Ext. Space. A distortion in the shape of the Roanoke warps past. The Enterprise F warps past less than a half-second later, hot on its tail. DATA That is odd. They are not charging their weapons. PICARD Good. I was counting on that. RIKER How's that, Admiral? PICARD If she doesn't annihilate us with the first volley, we might surrender to her. Then she wouldn't have an excuse to kill us. With our cloak keeping her from getting a positive weapons lock, half her phasers and torpedoes will probably miss. RIKER So she'll keep on our tail and wait us out. She probably figures we'll eventually run out of power and then our cloak will fail. DATA (reading his console) Her assessment may be correct. The forced singularity generating this ship's power is beginning to show signs of stress. It was not designed to sustain maximum output. PICARD (bites a knuckle) Damn. We can't slow down now; she'll suspect we're trying to save power and give up on waiting us out. We have to make it to the Sol system. Ext. Space. Same Roanoke-shaped distortion followed immediately by the Enterprise F, whizzing by at warp 12. Int. Roanoke engine room. Loud pulsating warp drive noises fill the air. Geordi is looking at the central forced-singularity chamber. GEORDI (taps comm badge) Admiral, the singularity forcing chamber is getting close to failure. We've reinforced the inner walls with a structural integrity field, but I don't know how long it'll last. Int. Roanoke bridge. PICARD Hold her together, Mister LaForge. GEORDI'S VOICE (off-screen, filtered) But, cap'n, the engines are overloadin'! They canna take much more o' this! She'll bloo apart, Jim! PICARD (sotto voce) Where did *that* come from? DATA Sol system dead ahead. What is our precise destination, Admiral? PICARD Oort cloud object 1173. RIKER (alarmed) Admiral, she knows what's down there. She'll never go back into the vault! PICARD (wryly) Always the pessimist, aren't you, Will? DATA Nearing the Oort cloud object. (beat) Almost there. PICARD Take us out of warp, but keep us cloaked. Ext. Oort cloud object 1173. A Roanoke-shaped distortion un-rubber-bands out of warp and enters orbit. Int. Enterprise F bridge. SHAYNA They've dropped out of warp, still cloaked. MARRISSA Drat! Take us out of warp right along side them. Keep them in our primary weapons firing arc. Oh, and deploy a few squadrons of fighters to the far side of them so we can pen them in. Angle on viewscreen. The stars turn from FTL streaks back into normal stars. Oort cloud object 1173 fills the bottom half of the viewscreen. A Roanoke- shaped distortion floats above it. From the size of the distortion the Enterprise F would have to be practically on top of the Roanoke. A big swarm of Federation fighters appears from the bottom of the viewscreen and moves to surround the distortion. MARRISSA Open a channel. PATTERSON Open. MARRISSA Attention Roanoke, this is Rear Admiral Marrissa Amber Flores Picard Gordon of the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701-F, Commanding Admiral of Starfleet, Princess and Heir to the Throne of Essex, Lord High Commander of all Kids Crews, and holder of the highest Kobayashi Maru time in recorded history. You can surrender, or you can be destoryed. SHAYNA (mouthing silently) De-*storied*? MARRISSA Of course, I'd prefer it if you didn't surrender. C'mon, dad, drop your cloaking device and fight me like a man! PATTERSON No response, your highness. (beat) Wait! I'm picking up a coded transmission coming from their ship. It looks like it's intended for Starfleet headquarters, or maybe the President. MARRISSA Can you decode it? PATTERSON (touches some buttons) Yes, ma'am! I've decoded the audio portion. MARRISSA Well, don't just stand there like an Arcturian Megadonkey! On speakers! Patterson touches a few more buttons. A chime indicates the speakers are playing the decoded transmission. PICARD'S VOICE (on speakers) Attention, this is Admiral Jean-Luc Picard currently in command of the Romulan Bird of Prey Roanoke in standard orbit around Oort cloud object 1173. We are abandoning ship. We *would* like to beam into the safety of the vault down there inside the object we're orbiting, except our sensors have just detected a large number of Romulans already occupying the area. MARRISSA Romulans?! (beat) They *must* know I'm listening in. PICARD'S VOICE A whole bunch of Romulans, yes sirree. MARRISSA No, no, I am *not* going to fall for that old trick again! PICARD'S VOICE Fresh, young Romulans. Completely unarmed. (makes lip-smacking noises) Just waiting for someone with a nice high Kobayashi Maru time to beam down and slaughter them. MARRISSA (trying to convince herself) Nope, not going to fall for it again. Un-uh. No no no no no. PICARD'S VOICE Oh, and look! Are those Borg implants on the Romulans? Marrissa shakes, clenches her fists, and groans nervously. She is visibly sweating. PICARD'S VOICE Yep, Romulan Borg. Lots and lots of 'em. Mmmmmmmmm. MARRISSA (breaks down) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Beam me down into the vault!! SHAYNA But shouldn't we at least use our own sensors to see if those Romulans are really-- MARRISSA *Beam* *me* *down*!! Transporter effect. Marrissa and her 45-foot wedding train disappear. However, the transporter chief forgot to beam her bridesmaids down with her this time. Int. Empty vault deep underground, with its vault door open. Marrissa and wedding train beam in. She looks around eagerly. Then: MARRISSA (angered) Hey! Transporter effect. Picard and Riker materialize right on the other side of the open vault door, next to the lever that originally thawed Marrissa out. MARRISSA There aren't any Romulans in here! (eyes glow red) Why you ... !! Marrissa charges toward Picard and Riker, whirling her scepter over her head as though she intends to smash their skulls in with it. The music gets really loud and menacing. And just before she runs out through the vault entrance, Picard pulls the lever down with a meaningful "kunk!". Loud wind, snow, and blue light inundate Marrissa in mid-stride. When the blizzard clears, we see Marrissa once again entombed in a 45-foot-long block of ice, murderous rage showing in her face and her scepter permanently frozen in an I'm-about-to-bludgeon-you pose. Picard and Riker breathe a deep sigh of relief. EPILOG Ext. Enterprise F moving slowly through space toward a starbase in Earth orbit. PICARD'S VOICE (off-screen, voice-over) Admiral's log, stardate 65127.9. Starfleet's last-resort weapon is back in cold storage. We've returned the Roanoke to the Romulans, along with our condolences over the loss of her crew. I've also resumed my post as Commanding Admiral, Starfleet, because I had my fingers crossed behind my back when I conveyed my authority to Marrissa. It's good to have the Enterprise back. Int. Enterprise F bridge. Everything looks just peachy. RIKER Too bad Marrissa had to kill a whole shipfull of Romulans, Admiral. PICARD That was nothing compared to what she did to Cardassia. RIKER (grinning) Uh ... Cardassia? PICARD When she infiltrated the Borg collective, she annihilated *every* Borg in the quadrant. (beat) Nearly the entire population of Cardassia had been assimilated at the time. RIKER Yeesh. PICARD The few that escaped assimilation are still around, hiding out on the planet; but for the most part Cardassia has become one big mass graveyard. RIKER (grinning) At least we won't have to worry about their Dominion alliance anymore. Or the Maquis. DATA Admiral, we have an incoming transmission from Starfleet Headquarters. PICARD (smirks) Probably a pat on the back for eliminating the Borg with minimal Federation losses. DATA Not likely, sir. It is coded Condition Red. PICARD (concerned) Onscreen. Angle on viewscreen. ADMIRAL NECHEYEV appears. NECHEYEV (on the viewscreen) Admiral Picard, our tracking stations at the Gamma Quadrant wormhole show a massive fleet of Jem Hadar ships coming through. The Dominion is invading the Alpha Quadrant, figuring we're weakened by the Borg attack. PICARD (sighs) Oh no. NECHEYEV Furthermore, the Jem Hadar ships look to be accompanied by Kelvan vessels from the Andromeda Galaxy. PICARD The *Kelvans*? NECHEYEV Yep, they're back. Transmissions from the Klingon homeworld and Romulus indicate that both the Klingons and the Romulans have signed an agreement with the Dominion-Kelvan forces. The Klingons and Romulans won't get attacked if they join forces and help the Dominion and the Kelvans wipe out the Federation. PICARD Oh dear. NECHEYEV And, finally, the entire Q continuum is backing the Dominion-Kelvan assault. A Q continuum member appeared and said something about "getting rid of that pesky Federation thorn in our sides". PICARD The Dominion. The Kelvans. The Klingons. The Romulans. And the Q. Don't tell me ... NECHEYEV Time to get The Weapon back out of cold storage. Starfleet out. The viewscreen reverts to the normal exterior view. PICARD (sighing at the ceiling) There is no rest for the weary. (beat) Mister Data, set course for Oort cloud object 1173, warp six. DATA Course plotted and laid in, sir. PICARD (flicking his finger forward) Engage. Sound effects: Enterprise F's engines rev up. PICARD If I had hair, I swear it would have turned white by now. Ext. Enterprise F. The ship rubber-bands to warp and disappears in a white flash. All that's left are the background stars and the words "Executive Producer Rick Berman". END