BORGED TO DEATH! ---------------- Copyright (c) 1997 by Roger M. Wilcox . All rights reserved. All lefts reserved. The Star Trek(R) franchise and all related products mentioned herein are copyright patented registered-trademarked by Paramount Inc., and are used completely without their permission. Certain infamous characters appearing in this script are the property of Stephen Brian Ratliff. Establishing shot: ext. Nova-class Enterprise NCC-1701-F hurtles through space at warp 11. JEAN-LUC PICARD (offscreen) Admiral's log, stardate 65127.0. Outposts at the edge of the alpha quadrant have confirmed Starfleet's fears. The Borg have launched a major invasion. No less than twelve Borg cubes are on their way to key targets throughout the quadrant, and three are confirmed to be headed for the heart of the Federation. One of the cubes is steering clear of any government's space, and we have been ordered to rendezvous with a multi-government coalition fleet to engage it -- before *it* can engage *us*. Int. Enterprise F bridge. Yellow-alert panels are illuminated. TROI looks bored out of her skull. RIKER is pinching the bridge of his nose, as if nursing an annoyance-induced migraine. PICARD Time to rendezvous with Sigma Fleet? DATA Forty-seven minutes, thirty-three seconds. Picard drums his fingers impatiently on his armrest. PICARD Time to rendezvous with Sigma Fleet? DATA Forty-seven minutes, twenty-five seconds. Picard gets up and paces back-and-forth a couple of times, then sits back down again. PICARD Time to rendezvous with Sigma Fleet? DATA Forty-seven minutes, eight seconds. RIKER (willing to talk about *anything* to relieve the doldrum) So! How's Sara doing these days? PICARD Sara Alara Amber Flores Picard Gordon just broke eighteen minutes. RIKER (raising his eyebrows) Wow. Not a bad Kobayashi Maru time for a four-year-old. How old were you when *you* broke eighteen minutes, Captain? PICARD (wincing) I've never broken sixteen minutes, Will. TROI Captain, I sense feelings of inadequacy. PICARD Oh, put a sock in it, counselor. Picard taps his foot impatiently. PICARD Time to rendezvous with Sigma Fleet? DATA Forty-five minutes, fifty seconds. Ext. Enterprise F continuing to cruise away at warp 11. Title Sequence. Space: The Final Frontier(R). These are the voyages of the starship(R) Enterprise(R). It's continuing mission(R): to explore strange, new worlds(R). To seek out new life, and new civilizations(R). To boldly split infinitives where none have been split before! Star Trek: The Marrissa Storys [sic] ACT I Ext. Enterprise F comes out of warp to meet up with the rest of Sigma Fleet. Int. Enterprise F bridge. DATA Captain, Sigma Fleet is hailing us. PICARD (standing) Finally. Open a channel. Angle on viewscreen. The face of Romulan fleet commander TOMALAK appears. TOMALAK Well, well, if it isn't my old nemesis, Jean-Luc Picard! Funny we'd end up fighting alongside one another, isn't it? PICARD Oh, yeah, funny, ha ha, I'm rolling in the aisles grasping my sides in laughter. Now can the melodrama, Tomalak, we've got a quadrant to defend. How many ships are in Sigma Fleet? TOMALAK Well, let's see, there's you ... there's me ... Ext. Space. Tomalak's Bird of Prey decloaks in front of the Enterprise F. Int. Enterprise F bridge, angle on viewscreen. TOMALAK ... There's Korg son of Korg ... Ext. Space. A Klingon Bird of Prey decloaks next to the Romulan one. Int. Enterprise F bridge, angle on viewscreen. TOMALAK ... and there's Worf son of Mog. Ext. Space. The Defiant decloaks alongside the two birds of prey. Int. Enterprise F bridge, normal angle. PICARD (flabbergasted) That's *it*? Four ships? The four of us against an entire Borg cube?! I thought Sigma Fleet was supposed to be the biggest defensive wing our combined governments could put together! Angle on viewscreen. The picture splits, adding KORG SON OF KORG to the right half. KORG Apparently, both Starfleet and the Romulan military came to the same conclusion that our Klingon Deep Space Fleet commanders did. PICARD How's that? KORG Let the other governments send the bulk of their ships to Sigma Fleet. If our government sends only one or two token vessels, there won't be time to complain. That way, all but a couple of our own ships will be available to defend our homeworlds when the Borg close in. PICARD Great. There's no way we can defeat even one Borg ship with this pathetic fleet. Picard slumps down in his Captain's chair. PICARD The whole Federation Starfleet is going to be dividing its attention amongst three of those juggernauts. Four, if this wild-card cube attacks us. (addressing the viewscreen) Tomalak, Korg, continuing Sigma Fleet would be a suicide mission. We couldn't put a dent in that Borg cube. We can all do more good making our last stands at home. The viewscreen splits the picture again. It's getting a little crowded there. WORF now occupies the right one-third of the screen. WORF Admiral. There may be a way we can stop the Borg. But it will be very risky. PICARD Are you suggesting ... ? RIKER (grinning) It might be the only way, Admiral. PICARD (raising his hands and shaking his head) No, no, absolutely not. Out of the question. It would be better to get assimilated by the Borg. TROI (alarmed) Admiral! After what they did to you?! PICARD There is absolutely *no* *way* in *hell* I will *ever* unleash The Weapon! DATA Sir, there is a message coming in from Cardassia. It is being broadcast on several channels. PICARD (worried) Onscreen. The three-way split screen image blinks out and is replaced by ... a Borg. (Dramatic chord) This Borg looks very strange, though. Its body is partly transparent, and oozes around, almost as though it's made out of a liquid. It looks suspiciously like the stuff Odo is made out of. PICARD (slackjawed) A Founder. BORG (metallic voice) Cardassia and the Dominion presence within this quadrant have been assimilated. Further resistance is futile. If you do not surrender you will be punished. The screen blinks off, revealing only the stars beyond. PICARD (mumbling) Cardassia, the Jem Hadar, the Founders -- they didn't so much as slow the Borg down. Picard buries his face in his hands. RIKER Admiral ... ? PICARD (sighs) All right. We'll use The Weapon. Set course for Solar Oort cloud object 1173, warp thirteen. Tomalak, Korg, Worf, follow me. It's going to be a long night. DATA Course plotted and laid in, sir. PICARD (throws pointing-finger forward) Engage. Ext. Enterprise F and the rest of Sigma Fleet all rubber-band to warp. ACT II Ext. Enterprise F and Sigma Fleet in orbit around an icy 300-kilometer-wide comet about a half light-year from Earth's sun. There is a transparent dome visible on the comet's surface. Int. Inside of dome on comet's surface. A lobby-sized room with no ceiling offers a view of the stars through the dome above. Transporter effect: Picard, Riker, and three yellow-shirted Starfleet security personnel (two men, one woman) beam in. PICARD (testing his weight on his legs) Funny, this comet is less than a thirtieth as big across as Earth, yet we're experiencing a full one gee. RIKER (shrugs, grinning) I learned a long time ago never to question the Will of Roddenberry. PICARD (sighs, shakes his head) The turbolift's this way. They start walking toward the elevator. RIKER (grinning) Why couldn't we just beam down to the vault entrance? PICARD (pointing at the floor) Its beneath several kilometers of solid rock and ice. RIKER Transporters can operate through rock and ice, can't they? PICARD Not to that depth. RIKER But they beamed down inside the Genesis Planet in _Star Trek II_, didn't they? PICARD But that was -- RIKER And the tunnel they beamed into was, quote, miles underground, wasn't it? PICARD Uh, we couldn't beam down that far because ... uh, there was too much, uh, quantum destabilization in the rock strata ionisphere. RIKER Rock strata *ionisphere*? PICARD Uh, we had to phase-modulate the plasma inductor relays by bypassing the matrix flow inhibitors, and -- RIKER (grinning) You're just making all this up, aren't you? PICARD All right, all right! We have to take the turbolift down because we have this really neat turbolift set left over from "Disaster" and we need to kill some screen time! Picard presses a button next to the turbolift. The doors open. PICARD Now get in the damn elevator! The 5-person away team enters. The eleva-- er, the turbolift doors close. We see the turbolift from the outside, rapidly descending down a miles-long shaft. It looks suspiciously like the turbolift shaft from "Disaster". Inside the turbolift, the horizontal light bars flash upward past a frosted window. PICARD I don't have to tell you I'm scared to death about doing this. RIKER (grinning) Me too. PICARD You know, you grin at the most inane times. RIKER (grinning) The chicks seem to dig it. The female security officer beans him on the back of his head with the butt of her hand phaser. RIKER Ow! (turning to look at security officers behind him) Who did that? The female security officer whistles nonchalantly and looks off into the distance. PICARD It damn near wiped out the Federation when we stuffed The Weapon into its Pandora's box. "We'll need it as a last resort," the Starfleet Joint Chiefs said. "It'll be a deterrent against all-out invasion," they said. "A kind of mutually-assured destruction." But guess what, Starfleet Joint Chiefs? The Borg won't know *what* capabilities we have until they assimilate us! They don't *know* about The Weapon! RIKER (grinning) Calm down, Admiral, I'm sure everything'll be all right. PICARD You are really annoying, you know that? The turbolift doors open. A metal-walled hallway greets them. There is an enormous bank-vault-style door at the far end. RIKER The vault. They walk into the hallway and up near the vault door. PICARD Computer, this is Admiral Jean-Luc Picard. Soud effect: Computer chime. COMPUTER VOICE Jean-Luc Picard, voice print confirmed. PICARD Deactivate safety lockouts on Weapon vault, authorization Picard X-ray Mike zero zero plural Z Alpha. COMPUTER VOICE Authorization confirmed. Second authorization required for lockout deactivation. RIKER Computer, this is Admiral William T. Riker. Deactivate Weapon vault safety lockouts, authorization Riker Studmuffin Oscar Emmy four-five Bravo. COMPUTER VOICE Voice print and authorization confirmed. Safety lockouts deactivated. PICARD (sotto voce, to Riker) Studmuffin? RIKER (sotto voce) Hey, when you've got it, flaunt it. The female security officer whacks him again. RIKER Ow! PICARD Computer, this is Admiral Jean-Luc Picard. Open the vault. Authorization zero zero zero destruct zero. COMPUTER VOICE Warning! Weapon vault opening. A rotating yellow light on the ceiling comes on. There is a "kla-dunk", and the massive vault door creeks open. Angle on away team's faces. A sky-blue light emanates from the opening vault. They look on in awe. The background music gets ominous and dramatic. Steven Spielberg couldn't do it any better than this. Angle on what they see. The vault is completely filled with one solid two- meter-wide by three-meter-tall by twenty-two-meter-long block of ice. And encased in the ice, distorted but still visible, is a young woman. A young, blond-haired woman. Wearing a Starfleet uniform, a tiara on her head, and a 13.7 meter long wedding dress train stretched out behind her. And carrying a scepter in her left hand. PICARD (shaking with fright) The Weapon. Riker places his hand on a lever next to the vault door. PICARD It's not too late for us to back out, Will. We don't have to thaw her out. We could just close the vault back up and leave, pretend we never came here. RIKER (shaking his head) Do you remember the eipsode where 300 different quantum universes intersected and we met up with all those Enterprise-D's? Do you remember the glimpse we saw into a reality where the Borg were everywhere? PICARD (reluctantly nods) RIKER And did you see how *awful* that big square bushy beard looked on me?! There is no *way* I'm going to go through that again!! He pulls the lever sharply upward. The hum and glow of heaters fills the air. PICARD May our children forgive us.... Angle on ice block. It slowly melts. Ice chunks fall away, exposing more and more of the young woman encased within. Finally, she begins to stir. Her limbs and head move as though shrugging off the stiffness of a loooooong sleep. Her eyes open, giving off a baleful red glow. PICARD Marrissa, can you hear us? MARRISSA's brow furrows in anger. She points her scepter at the away team. MARRISSA (thundrous voice) *Bow down before me!!* Picard, Riker, and the security detail awkwardly fall to their knees, looking like Kirk and company did in "Plato's Stepchildren" when the aliens used their telekinetic powers to force them to kneel. Awkward like that. Marrissa examines them for a second or two, then puzzles. MARRISSA *You're* not the same ones who locked me in here! How long have I been imprisoned?! PICARD We put you in deep freeze three years ago. MARRISSA *What*?!?!! How *dare* you! How dare all of you!! Don't you know who I am?!?! PICARD Yes, you're -- MARRISSA I am Princess Marrissa Amber Flores Picard Gordon! (thumps her scepter on the ground) Heir to the throne of Essex, Starfleet rear admiral, Lord High Coordinator of all Kids Crews, and holder of the highest Kobayashi Maru time *ever*!! (sneers at Jean-Luc Picard) And I *was* Acting Commanding Admiral, Starfleet, until *you* regained consciousness and spoiled the whole deal! RIKER (sotto voce, to Picard) You could always go back into a coma. PICARD (sotto voce) Shh! Don't give her any ideas! Marrissa starts walking out of her formerly-icy tomb, trailing her 45-foot wedding train behind her. MARRISSA Three years, frozen solid. I can't believe I fell for it. "Look, Marrissa!", you said. "There are some Romulans in this vault! Fresh, young, unarmed Romulans, begging for you to blast them!" The oldest trick in the book! (beat) My brilliant powers of deduction tell me that you wouldn't unfreeze me *now* unless there's some emergency going on. (glares at Picard) Spill it. RIKER The quadrant's just been -- Marrissa speaks at Riker out of the side of her mouth, not taking her intense gaze off Picard: MARRISSA I don't remember asking *you*, laughing boy. PICARD (uncomfortable, clears his throat) There's a major invasion underway by the Borg. A sly grin begins to cross Marrissa's face. MARRISSA Did you say ... the Borg? PICARD Yes, they've, uh, sent at least a dozen cube ships into the Alpha quadrant. They've already assimilated the entire Cardassian empire, Dominion presence and all. MARRISSA I've been waiting to tangle with the Borg ever since I first humiliated Gul Dukat thirteen years ago. No, wait -- that'd be *sixteen* years ago. You jerks froze me solid back on stardate 62343 point seven. Which reminds me, I haven't had a thing to drink since then. Computer! Strawberry juice! A glass of strawberry juice materializes in Marrissa's hand. She guzzles voraciously. RIKER (sotto voce, to Picard) I didn't know they installed a replicator down here. PICARD (sotto voce, to Riker) They didn't. MARRISSA (finishing her drink) Ahhhhh! Just like mama Flores used to replicate. Now then, how many ships do we have in the immediate area? PICARD Four. The Defiant, the Klingon Bird of Prey Draaaaawg, the Enterprise F, and the R-- MARRISSA The Enterprise F? *My* ship? *You* were parading around the galaxy in *my* ship while I was stuck here, encased in a giant ice cube?! PICARD Please understand, it's the flagship of Starfleet, and I *am* Starfleet's commanding Admiral. MARRISSA *Were* commanding Admiral. You want me to take care of the Borg? Then you transfer all your authority to me. PICARD Er -- MARRISSA *Permanently*. Riker and Picard glance uncomfortably at each other. MARRISSA You have three seconds to decide. Two. One-- PICARD All right, all right! By the power vested in me as Commanding Admiral, Starfleet, I hereby permanently confer all command authority to (takes a deep breath) (speaks quickly, without a break) Marrissa Amber Flores Picard Gordon, decorated Starfleet Admiral, Princess and Heir to the Throne of Essex, Lord High Commander of All Starfleet Kids Crews, and record holder of the highest Kobayashi Maru time. (panting, almost out of breath) MARRISSA (grinning evilly) Thank *you*. (taps her comm badge) Marrissa to Enterprise, six to beam up. PICARD But we're miles underground! We can't beam up through this much solid -- Int. Enterprise F transporter room. Transporter effect. The away team and Marrissa appear. One crewmember materializes on each of the six little personnel pads; Marrissa's 45-foot wedding train fills the large cargo transporter pad in the center. PICARD -- rock and ice. (his look fades to amazement) MARRISSA (smugly, to transporter chief) Permission to come aboard. TRANSPORTER CHIEF (gulps) Uh, granted, m-m-ma'am. MARRISSA (flashing her pips) Admiral. I am *Admiral* Marrissa Amber Flores Picard Gordon, mister! TRANSPORTER CHIEF Y-y-es, Admiral! PICARD (still amazed) How did the transporter work through all that solid matter? MARRISSA Come come now, dad, Clara made that improvement years ago. Right after she discovered those two new integer warp speeds. Remember? Before Starfleet recalibrated the warp speed scale? PICARD Oh. Oh, yes, of course, I *do* recall hearing about it. (puzzled) I should have remembered that. Marrissa looks about the almost-empty transporter room. MARRISSA (snapping her fingers once) Bridesmaids! Six young ladies, whom the rest of the crew has never seen before, scurry in. They are dressed in the same bridesmaids dresses used at Marrissa's wedding. They line up in strategic positions along Marrissa's wedding train and lift it off the ground. MARRISSA We're going to the bridge! Marrissa begins marching out of the transporter room. Picard, Riker, the three security guards, and the six bridesmaids all follow. Marrissa scratches her head; something is missing. MARRISSA Oh, shoot! I forgot. (claps her hands twice) My music! The ever-present hallway speakers (the ones the computer and internal comm system normally use) begin playing the wedding march from the third act of Wagner's _Lohengrin_. (That's "Here comes the bride" for you less-than-musically-inclined readers.) MARRISSA No, no, no! *My* music! The speakers switch to Darth Vader's theme from the second and third Star Wars movies. MARRISSA Much better! Int. Enterprise F hallway. They march their way into the turbolift. The turbolift doors close, and the music ends. Unfortunately, they can't all fit inside, and when the turbolift departs for the bridge it pulls Marrissa's wedding train and her six screaming bridesmaids up behind it. Int. Turbolift. Lights flash downward through the frosted glass, indicating that the lift is going up. MARRISSA (over the muffled screams below) So ... what is my daughter up to? RIKER Oh, she's doing fine. She's still a little shy, but she's good friends with most of her classmates and -- MARRISSA I *meant*, what is her Kobayashi Maru time up to? RIKER (disappointed) Eighteen minutes, three seconds. MARRISSA And she's already four years old? Hmph. You've gotten soft on her in my absence. She should have broken twenty minutes by now. I'll have to fix that. Int. Enterprise F bridge. The other 3 ships in Sigma Fleet are shown on the viewscreen. The turbolift doors open, and Darth Vader's theme immediately blares out from it. Marrissa and her wedding train (and her bridesmaids, who are all miraculously unharmed) march out, followed by Picard and Riker. The three security guards presumably got off on a different deck. NAMELESS ENSIGN Admiral on the bridge! MARRISSA (correcting him) Commanding Admiral, Starfleet, and heir to the throne of Essex, on the bridge. She marches to the center of the bridge and sits in the command chair, right at the same moment Darth Vader's theme reaches its final bar. MARRISSA (surveying bridge and crew) I trust you haven't ruined my ship too badly while I was away? PICARD Um, Marrissa, I really think you should let me command the Enterprise F in this assault. MARRISSA Hah! You don't even know what we're going to *do* in the assault yet! PICARD Marrissa, please, these crew members have been under my command for almost three years. We're attuned to one anothers' strengths and weaknesses. We -- MARRISSA (smiling, pointing at viewscreen) Oh, look! Angle on viewscreen. All the lights on the Romulan bird of prey wink out, and the ship lists as though lifeless. The background music plays a dramatic chord. RIKER What the ... ? DATA Sensors show high levels of trichloroetha- fluoronitrozene in the air on board the Romulan ship. PICARD (turns, looks at Marrissa) Marrissa? MARRISSA (shrugs) Oops, I guess somebody must've released that adult-knock-out drug developed by the Maquis into the Romulans' ventilation system. I wonder who could have done such a thing. PICARD Marrissa! Don't you know?! The Ratliff Gas doesn't affect Romulans the same way! Against Romulan physiology, it's instantly fatal! MARRISSA Oh dear. PICARD You've just poisoned the entire crew of the, the, what's the name of that Romulan ship, Number One? RIKER The Roanoke. PICARD Of the Roanoke! MARRISSA Well, they were only Romulans. The veins on Picard's neck stand out. His face nearly turns purple. TROI I sense anger, Admiral. Picard thinks about exploding, but fortunately, something else starts to bug him. PICARD Wait a minute ... the "Roanoke"? RIKER Yes sir. PICARD The *Romulans* have a ship called the Roanoke?! MARRISSA *Had* a ship called the Roanoke. PICARD I ... I ... (very, very puzzled) I can't remember what I was going to say. RIKER I can have the ship's doctor check you for Alzheimer's if you'd like, Admiral. MARRISSA (interrupting) Nope, there's no time for that now. We have to get a replacement crew over to the Roanoke. And I think the entire standard crew complement of the Enterprise F will do nicely. PICARD What?! You want to send my whole crew into a Romulan vessel they've never even seen the controls of before?! MARRISSA You'll be far more useful over there, trust me. And since that'll leave the Enterprise understaffed, I guess I'll just have to activate my Kids Crew! PICARD You only need a 40-member skeleton crew to operate a Bird of Prey! There isn't even room on that ship for half my crew! We'll all get in each others' way! MARRISSA Transporter room, beam the entire crew over to the Roanoke. Then beam yourselves over there, too. PICARD You can't do this to -- Transporter effect. The entire bridge crew vanishes. The only ones left on the bridge are Marrissa and her six bridesmaids, who are still holding her wedding train (it's draped across the tactical console). MARRISSA (to ship's computer) Now then. (Picks up a PADD) From among the *non*-standard crew complement, I'll need the following bridge officers: Commander Jay Alan Gordon, first officer. Alexander Rozhenko, tactical. Shayna Sachs, conn. MYSTERIOUS VOICE (out of frame) CONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! MARRISSA (shrugs) Ross Lochard, ops. No, wait -- he was tortured to death by Romulans, wasn't he? Damn. I was so looking forward to playing "security drill" with him. (giggles) Oh well, I'll do the next best thing. (presses buttons on armrest) Have Patterson Supra replace Ross at ops. And I'll need Princess Clara Sutter Rozhenko to take over as chief engineer. Int. Roanoke bridge. It's a typical, squalid Romulan Bird of Prey bridge. Transporter effect as Picard and his bridge crew materialize. PICARD -- me! DATA It would appear that she can, sir. PICARD Damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it, *damn* *it*! I knew we should never have released her! (sighs) All right, crew, we might as well get this show on the road. Take whatever station you used to have on the Enterprise. If there's no Romulan equivalent for what you used to do, improvise. Picard moves to sit down in the command chair. Just before his hinder touches the seat, a pre-recorded voice interrupts him: MARRISSA'S VOICE I wouldn't do that if I were you. PICARD That voice sounds familiar. (extremely puzzled) I heard that voice not thirty seconds ago. I should know who that is. But I can't for the life of me figure out whose voice I'm hearing! Picard tries to sit down again. And once again, before butt meets chair: MARRISSA'S VOICE I wouldn't do that if I were you. PICARD (puzzled beyond belief) Will, I don't think I'm fit to command! I swear, I can feel my mental faculties going! Something is turning me dirt stupid! RIKER I'll take the bridge. You get yourself down to sick bay and have Mrs. Picard give you a thorough brain scan. PICARD (looking exhausted) Right, right. Just ... just let me sit down first. Picard sits all the way down in the command chair. MARRISSA'S VOICE I warned you. Sound effects of operating transporter. Picard looks up. PICARD Oh no. Five hundred gallons of strawberry juice materialize over Picard's head and crash down on him. The sound is not unlike Niagara Falls. Strawberry juice floods the bridge deck and splatters over every console and viewscreen. PICARD Agggggh! My spine! Int. Enterprise F bridge. The new bridge crew is all in place. MARRISSA All right, Sigma Fleet, set a course for the Borg cube you were originally assigned to attack, warp fifteen. Worf appears on the viewscreen. WORF Admiral, even with the Defiant's newly modified engines, my ship cannot cruise faster than warp fourteen. MARRISSA Cry me a river, cheese-grater head. Engage! Ext. Shot of Sigma Fleet. All four ships jump to warp. [continued in part 2 of 3]